Guilt for not attending a funeral reddit. Feb 10, 2025 · If you have chosen not to attend a funeral, you may experience some guilt, even if you feel totally confident in your decision. NTA-Please don't go to a funeral where there will be old or at risk people if you are working in the community, or have been going to college classes. Attendance at a funeral is not the only way to honor or grieve or say farewell. You shouldn't be expected to attend a funeral of you don't feel up to it. . You going to your father's funeral with mean the same as going to any other strangers funeral. There is no need to rush to plan something, especially if some time will allow more people to attend and for friends and family to plan something especially meaningful. Let’s talk about it. And do not let other people or family members to guilt trip you for not going. Live in love and harmony now while I am alive and not regrets and Feb 10, 2025 · If you have chosen not to attend a funeral, you may experience some guilt, even if you feel totally confident in your decision. But what do you say when you can’t attend a funeral? How do you let the Aug 25, 2022 · Should I feel guilty for not attending a funeral? It’s considered proper etiquette to pay your respects in another way if you’re unable to attend the funeral. The reason I'm asking if it's ok not to go, is due to the fact I always get chewed out for not going to these things and not being there for said co-worker, when in reality I'm there if they need me, just not at the funeral home. Find guidance on how to support grieving families. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: I didn't attend my father's funeral 2. My sibling and I just can't see the point in having a public funeral for our father when we don't think many people would attend. Enjoy your life, OP. My grandpa, and your colleague, would want us to take care of ourselves and know we love and care for them even if we weren't physically Would you feel guilty if you didn't attend the funeral of a parent that was cruel to you your entire life? Why or why not? You absolutely do not have to attend anyone's funeral unless you feel the need to say goodbye. Oct 20, 2023 · Naturally, you’ll start to feel guilty when you can’t attend a funeral. The guilt may come from familial pressure, societal and/or religious pressure, and the cultural expectation of attending. Jul 13, 2023 · Telling someone you don’t want to attend a funeral can be an uncomfortable conversation. Feb 10, 2025 · Learn about funeral attendance etiquette, who should attend, and considerations for missing a service. Some people’s feeling about church attendance borders on legalism—they must attend every time there is any kind of service or meeting, or they risk God’s wrath. Funerals are one of the most emotionally chargedevents we have to deal with in our lives. It’s important to acknowledge that your decision, or circumstance, that keeps you away isn’t a reflection of your love for the departed. If you don't feel comfortable doing this then you are not obliged to attend a funeral. Gestion des collections d'échantillon - management of samples collections Jan 21, 2026 · Many people have an improper or unbiblical understanding of church attendance. AITA? Archived post. I (27M) didnt attend to my mother's funeral after she had told me about a problem I've had with her when I was 13. Sep 6, 2022 · Short answer: Absolutely Not. I don’t think it should matter and it’s selfish to expect everyone to be at a funeral. There are many reasons why you may not be able to go to a funeral, but there are also many ways to participate even if you cannot attend a funeral service in person. Guilt over not attending a funeral I moved from the USA to Russia about a year ago and my grandpa died very unexpectedly recently. If your family doesn't understand that you can't financially afford it, or even want to, then I agree with previous comment, they're are the aholes. So, you should decide if it is worth it to you to do that. No. Some people experience guilty feelings whenever they miss a Sunday morning service for any reason. You may not even know what to say to the grieving family when you can’t attend a funeral to the grieving family. Some people just don't like weddings. I want to stress that some people deal with the passing of loved ones better than others, and there is no rig There is nothing wrong with not attending a persons funeral and it should not be viewed as disrespectful to the deceased. But you’re kind of in asshole territory for not going to support your husband. But even if you desperately want to go, sometimes it just isn’t possible. Feb 10, 2025 · Whether you choose to, or are able to, attend a funeral is completely up to you. When people die there is often pressure put on people to attend the funeral. Like for the other people that show up. After reading this story i am going to announce to all my sons, daughters -in-laws and grandchildren. That should such a situation ever happen in the future even if its a sudden death, they should proceed with their journey in peace and without guilt with all my blessing. Jan 28, 2014 · A funeral or memorial is something that can happen in whatever space and with whatever format works for you and your family. com Should you feel bad for not attending a funeral? The purpose of a funeral is to mourn the deceased and show support for their family. Our website is supported by our users. It's the only one you got. Funerals are for the living. I feel the same way about funerals. Sadly, some churches encourage this guilt by We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. Should you feel bad for not attending a funeral? The purpose of a funeral is to mourn the deceased and show support for their family. If she doesn't want to go to a funeral, she doesn't have to. Takedown request | View complete answer on joincake. With you or without you the funeral will take place and your father - may he be comforted in his last days - will receive his proper dues, thanks to We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. A funeral isn't meant to be an event that is required of anyone. Go or not, but remember, funerals are for the living, and a way to connect one last time. Should you feel bad about not going to a funeral? It's considered proper etiquette to pay your respects in another way if you're unable to attend the funeral. It's like you projecting your own personal feelings on her, and telling her not to attend her own mother's funeral. But don't be eaten up by guilt for not having empathy for these people who don't deserve your concern. Please view our voting guide here, and remember to use only one judgement in your comment. NTA financially it sounds like it isn't an option and wouldn't make an sense. Is it disrespectful to not attend the funeral? I will, no doubt, be inconsolable when Mom dies, but the thought of being around the very relatives that offered more bullying than advice or help during the difficult times is something I don't think I can put myself through. The line for his visitation stretched and zig zagged throughout the funeral home and the end could not be found from the inside of the building for 2 hours. There's nothing wrong with not attending a parent's funeral if there isn't a pressing need or motivation to be there. So the answer to whether or not you should attend a particular funeral, especially if you don’t want to, can be complicated. Seeing the man's child attend his funeral will give a modicum of comfort for his friends and family, especially as it will signify something to them about the good relstionship you shared with your father. May 2, 2022 · And the list of reasons why not to have a funeral goes on and on. Title pretty much sums it up. She also doesn't have to have some elaborate reason not to go. While you shouldn't feel guilty if you can't attend, you should take action to honor the deceased and their family. Max is right to give you the freedom to decide whether or not to go to the funeral, and he is right to support your choice! Nov 29, 2017 · According to etiquette experts, if you can make it to a funeral, you should always go. It's important to remember that you made the choice not to attend for a reason and that reason is valid. The closer the relationship the greater the pressure. We aren't very close with that side of the family (my dad's) anymore, but he is my first grandparent to die and we used to be close when I was younger. If I died, I wouldn't want to have people at my funeral who didn't know me and who do not care about my death. Archived post. Which of course you wouldn't do, so why is your wife allowed to do that to you? The after-funeral reception gives mourners the chance to support each other, share stories and memories, and continue to celebrate the life of someone they cared about. AITA for not going to the funeral? Archived post. r/AskReddit is the place to ask and answer thought-provoking questions. I decided not to go to our family friend, pretty much my grandpa's, funeral because being around my immediate family would be terrible. Some individuals may not attend a funeral for various relational, financial, or personal reasons. This is so fucking hard and these cultural conventions surrounding how death and funerals ate handled make it so much fucking worse for me. However, there are compassionate ways to have this discussion while still honoring your own needs and boundaries. It feels insensitive to consider not going to the funeral, but only because I know people would expect me to be there. You’re not the asshole for not wanting to go to a funeral of someone you don’t know. It’s not for me to say. In the time since, I've landed on different emotions, from betrayed to furious to guilty. Q: "I had planned to attend a funeral with some friends. If the funeral isn't going to do that for you, don't go. Being obliged to attend a funeral is done. Don’t post fun ski trip pictures to the family group chat, you know? Ask your dad what he thinks is the right thing to do. I understand. They may say whatever they want, but that's just words of their mouths, they haven't been in your shoes, so what they think or say is irrelevant. Sitting with a decision If going to the funeral will not help your grief (and it sounds like it definitely would not help you) then you should not feel any obligation to go, or any guilt at all. People shouldn’t be shamed into attending funerals. It shouldn’t matter if it’s close family or just a friend. Edit to add: Funerals are a ritual for the living to remember and grieve the dead. It's a bit rude that she barely helped at the end of their lives but is now invested in their wills. If you’re on the fence about attending a funeral, it’s important to make a decision and then stick with it. There’s no perfect or right thing to say when someone is grieving, but there are wrong things. While my grandmother was a good person, I already grieved all of my family when I left them. Apparently I "broke" a laptop she had bought to me and my sister, Well I didnt break it, still, she kept saying that I was the one that broke the laptop, it got to the point where she demanded the money i had saved for nearly 3 years to "fix it", I had well over 500 dollars from Is attending the funeral considered an intrusion on the family ( altho details of it were also posted in the message)? On the one hand, it feels like a show of support to the family but on the other hand, not sure if it's a place where you may need to introduce yourself. Eventually got to the point of a funeral is for the living. Sep 7, 2020 · But the truth is that there are many reasons why you may not want to go to the service. There are many other ways to support the family. I'm being guilt tripped into going to a funeral I don't feel comfortable attending out of fear of my own safety, what do i do ? For context, my grandpa on my dads side died in late March, just after quarantine had started. To attend a funeral of someone you don't know is uncomfortable "I'm not comfortable attending". I let them both know today that I wouldn't be attending, and as could be expected I'm receiving a lot of guilt/obligation being thrown at me. Discover the highest quality urns for ashes, keepsake urns, pet urns, and more at OneWorld Memorials, all with a best-price guarantee and caring customer service. A lot of people are also not able to attend weddings for personal reasons and Financial weddings. The purpose of a funeral is to say goodbye, and to help deal with your mourning, but I'd literally just stand there like an NPC and wait till I can go home, because I feel no sadness for this person. nobody's obligated to go to a funeral just because anybody has passed. And it's not rude to not wish somebody a happy birthday or a merry christmas. I'm planning on telling her that I'm not coming to the funeral. I flew across the country to visit 2 weeks after I heard his prognosis (and I am so grateful for that time). Look, I’m not going to suggest that you either go to the funeral or skip it. But if you can't, you should at the very least send a card. Nov 10, 2023 · If you’ve been invited to a funeral but are unable to attend you may be feeling bad. Share Sort by: Top Open comment sort options Best Top New Controversial Old Q&A Judgement_Bot_AITA • Jaylove, it is not wrong not to attend. My mom had six brothers and sisters and none of them would have been able to come. Because everyone expects sons to attend their father's funerals despite whatever happened in life Help keep the sub engaging! Don’t downvote assholes Funerals are an important and valuable ritual that helps strengthen our families, our communities, and our appreciation of life. Not a single person was offended or doubted his well meaning. Feb 10, 2025 · Struggling with family gatherings? Discover strategies for gracefully opting out while protecting your mental health and well-being. I regret missing my brothers and my friends funeral, but grateful I did attend for other loved ones that have passed on. Local news, sports, business, politics, entertainment, travel, restaurants and opinion for Seattle and the Pacific Northwest. When attending a funeral, is it okay to not go to the interment? In funerals I'd usually attend the service portion to pay my respects, but not go to the interment (family is exempt of course) afterward. Thoughts? Thanks. Have you ever regretted *not* attending the funeral of a loved one? I have a family member who's not doing so well. In this article, we will discuss reasons for nonattendance and alternative things you can offer in lieu of attending. How can I cope? It's not uncommon for people to feel guilty after not attending a family member's funeral, especially if that person was close to them or if they had a strained or difficult relationship. Aita for refusing to attend an apology dinner after my mother in law called me a bad mother at my son's funeral? I regret missing my brothers and my friends funeral, but grateful I did attend for other loved ones that have passed on. I don’t regret it. The decision to not attend a funeral is not one to be made lightly. She told you it's not something that's important to her. Especially for someone you have no emotional connection to. Feb 6, 2015 · Here is my dilemma: social convention has it that you should attend a close one's funeral, but what if you don't want to? May 7, 2017 · Missing a funeral can bring up a lot of emotions, but guilt shouldn't necessarily be one of them. Is it OK not to go to a funeral? Do not feel guilty about your My family all came down the week my son passed but it was such a hectic week we didn’t know when the service was going to be and most left and didn’t make it back for the funeral. It’s natural to feel guilty, but try to focus on helping the family in other ways and saying goodbye on your own. Life is just too damned short to waste time on nonsense like guilt over not attending a funeral - or anything else. this has got to STOP 臘 ‍♂️ conversation about showing citizenship id and deportation Feb 6, 2015 · Here is my dilemma: social convention has it that you should attend a close one's funeral, but what if you don't want to? Unpopular opinion here but funerals are for the living. But, ask yourself this question. 45M subscribers in the AskReddit community. Failing to attend the funeral or memorial service of someone close to you does not mean you have failed the person who died. It was an honor for me to attend both services. It's an opportunity to express condolences and mourn the loss of a loved one or friendI can understand your mom wanting to attend and that is her choice as it is your own to not attend. So what's the point of going. That's on them, not you. Feeling guilt for not attending a funeral? No matter whose funeral it is and what connection they had to you, it should always be your choice whether or not you attend a funeral. 30K votes, 19K comments. It seems rude and unkind to not go to someone’s funeral. Do what you feel able to when the time comes. Missing a funeral becomes disrespectful when you are nonchalant about the program itself or not attending. While you shouldn’t feel guilty if you can’t attend, you should take action to honor the deceased and their family. Because of an unexpectedly heavy If going to the funeral will not help your grief (and it sounds like it definitely would not help you) then you should not feel any obligation to go, or any guilt at all. And those who might show up, we don't want to be forced to put a smile on our faces when they say "your dad was a wonderful guy" blah, blah, blah. We didn't have a funeral at the time because the COVID restrictions were super strict and we have a really large extended family. Attending is thus a gift you could give other people who will be glad to have your emotional presence. Life gets in the way. There's no right or wrong about it. ” Historically, the repast was a meal shared by close friends and family after the funeral. People handle things differently. 4 days ago · I am a grandfather myself and am still alive and kicking. Used to feel guilty about it but no longer. You could simply be a carrier/have mild symptoms and expose a lot of people to the disease. Feeling guilty for not attending my Grandmothers funeral : r/mentalhealth r/mentalhealth Current search is within r/mentalhealth Remove r/mentalhealth filter and expand search to all of Reddit r/mentalhealth If you want to attend the funeral or memorial service and the event is open to guests then you should go. We sometimes hear the after-funeral reception is referred to as a “repast. I feel like I don't have anything left to give them. But, out of respect, you may want to let the bereaved family know you won't be attending. Nov 29, 2017 · According to etiquette experts, if you can make it to a funeral, you should always go. What do you think your grandmother would want you to do? Because I think given how close you two were, you might want to consider that. We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. Funerals are to help those left behind deal with the loss. If you were close enough with the person to be informed of their funeral arrangements, this typically means that you should attend. Let people think you're cold-hearted or whatever. But there are certain situations when you might think twice. Guilt is often an emotion attached to doing something wrong, but it’s actually a self-conscious emotion that we can feel about any situation or event. To elaborate, it is understandable that not everyone can or wants to attend the funeral. Dec 25, 2022 · Would it be okay to zip in and out for the funeral and attend shiva virtually? I don’t think you must go to the funeral, but you can’t pretend it’s not happening. Let people grieve how they want. The important thing was that you loved her and took care of her while she was here. There are many reasons why a person may feel the need to skip out on the funeral or memorial service. Welcome to r/AmITheAsshole. Your grandma would understand. Be it illness, a family problem, work related or something else unexpected. Reasons to Not Attend a Funer We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. Funerals are deeply personal events and declining an invitation can seem insensitive. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. Guilt over not attending a funeral I moved from the USA to Russia about a year ago and my grandpa died very unexpectedly recently. I just don't want to attend her funeral and I am trying not to feel guilty because of that. I didn’t attend my MA graduation, which was in another country (I had already returned by the time) and I was honestly not close to anyone of the cohort or the teachers. If it was not going to be an event that brought you any measure of peace and instead would have caused you more pain, you should try not to feel any guilt for choosing not to attend. Guilt for not having a funeral yet Hi all - my mom passed away from cancer almost a year ago. Honor your loved one with a personalized perfect memorial. Nobody has any business either to tell you what to do or to demand that you decide in advance and commit to what you will do. What is the point of going to a funeral and pretending that you care? Funerals are for the living, and not for the dead for those who are going or going there to celebrate him. Mar 25, 2025 · Not attending a funeral in person can evoke a range of emotions from guilt and sorrow to confusion and relief. He meant nothing to you. Discover compassionate excuses for not attending a funeral that convey your sincere regrets and support for loved ones during difficult times. Your siblings or mother? Funerals may not be your thing, but they are most people's thing, they may be especially importsnt to your fsmily. For instance, when you just go AWOL, the person who invited you to the funeral may feel offended. And stop going to funerals. celg lxntpcy gcioa wcr tuxegc lbd toeohoc dqibhrb aihr qihdss