My mother and her new husband want to have a baby reddit. I honestly don’t know how to react.
My mother and her new husband want to have a baby reddit If I have a boy, I'd like to name him Henry, which is what my mother wanted to name me if I had been a boy. You can walk away from this and go live an amazing life. My dad knows and is fine with it since they (my parents) aren't actually together. Originally posted in r/TrueOffMyChest. I derailed my entire life for her. My husband comes from a very traditional family with stringent gender roles - dad was the main bread winner, mom basically sacrificed all personal needs and her entire identity to care for every other aspect of the kids and household, despite Growing up, I always wanted to be a father. Her post reads: "How do I tell my husband that I It’s weird when my kids got older than I was when I lost her. My dad wanted to name me Otto. I just have no motivation to fuss with him anymore. i never really knew my dad and didnt see him at all from ages 7-13, and never again after that. But it’s the opposite with me. My husband wasn’t surprised and after getting over the initial anger at my affair, we spilt fairly amicably and remain friends. He was shocked when his affair partner (who was also married) later cheated on him. He still says I should have asked him first. I didn’t have my first baby until I was 34 and while it’s overall been a completely positive and lovely experience, I wish I had my first in my 20s. I have similar problems with my mum- I live abroad but she asks me often to go on holiday or to come home. I have a wonderful relationship with my mother. I would be happy to adopt but Owen’s family is against it and has influenced my husband to also be against it. And that clock is ticking something fierce. My ex-husband has not asked to see my daughter for the past week. They saved them both. I encourage my husband to try offering it multiple times in a one hour window, but the moment baby starts to get fussy and reject it he gets overwhelmed and just hands her off to me, even if I'm in a different part of the house so she won't see me. Yes my husband wanted 2 kids. I never intended to substitute him. I was a young dumbass back then, but The only thing is that if it's a boy, she wants to name him David after her first husband. I still have very regular periods. Whatever about my sister, I know her kids are not to blame for any of this and I know I treat the nieces and nephew's on my husband's side extremely well but I have never ever wanted to even meet my nieces and nephews and saying they are not my problem might make me not such a good person because they are innocent. Need some advice here. 2nd Update - October 17, 2023 (Close to 8 months after Original post) . I am a saleswoman and I do very well for myself. I have a few texts from my mom with her saying that she doesn’t know what to do anymore and that even though I hate her she still loves me. She posted in r/TrueOffMyChest. We are young and I am not planning on bringing it up, and I don't expect it to come up, but if she does ask, I'll tell her the truth - that while I absolutely want her involved with the baby shortly after the birth, the I am trying to be ok with her and her new husband trying for a child of their own, but I am having a hard time with it. She started asking me if I want to have a baby with her, then didn't even listen to what I had to say and hung up on me. I (29F) and my husband (44M) have been together for five years and married for two. her kids are now in their twenties and thriving beautifully, with her as a single mom but also a large support network of friends and family growing up. Now, your situation is different than the normal stress of a new baby. Then counseling because this is one of those Big Issues. A few several friends and relatives follow my main Reddit account so I’ve made a new one to avoid creating more drama. I (29F) and my husband (44M) Let me start by saying that I didn’t meet expectations as a mother and I’m definitely struggling since baby was born but I never wanted to involve my in laws because I knew how they are but my husband went back to work and he definitely thinks that I sucks as a mom and can’t do shit, like for real since he went back to work he criticizes everything I do, how I do it etc. Women aren't designed to be baby factories nor to want to be them. My boss is an amazing woman who adopted two babies because she didnt have a partner and wanted to be a mom. There’s more but I have to wash my hair before I start my workday! Difficult. I have a baby brother, she had a secret baby and nobody noticed. Im healthier as I want her to be healthy, so I model it to her. It’s weird seeing people mourn losing their mothers at their own 30s, 40s, and older when I both barely new my mother and yet she was my world all in one. For most of my life my sister Alice has been wanting kids but has been unable to carry a baby to full term, in part due to endometriosis. Looking at guilt this way has really helped me nip those emotional responses in the bud. Her son is 17 and an amazing kid. Honeymoon period, my mother was sprung on my dad. My stepdad and my NMom stayed in MY childhood bedroom, which was next to my teenage room. A lot of stuff you just figure out once your baby is born. But I’m not, so I’m worthless to her. I honestly feel bad now because when my sil had her baby, the baby looked exactly like BIL and my husband and she kept asking me who the child looked like! I told her she really looks like When we got back from the trip I told my husband that I’m ready to slow down and have a baby 😂 my husband and I were big on partying and I knew I wanted to have a baby, but part of me tl;dr: My wife started wanting another baby after our last child left for college. I’m not sure anymore that I want to put my body through it. For reference, my husband is 46 and I'm 31. My mother was also invited and brought her boyfriend. Nex-wife would say, "a real man would" Followed by the same. i have an older half brother with my mother’s last name, and ive always wanted that. She sees you I am not OP. She worked for her husband's company. If we want to be gone for a few weeks or longer and can afford it, I don’t want to feel guilty for leaving my (always) sick mother. Another woman here, and I agree with the vasectomy. Your husband needs to hear: my mother assaulted my future wife and my child. I’m constantly planning how the nursery will look in our new dream apartment. My husband Owen and I have been trying for a baby for years with no luck. I would be Despite her best efforts, I still have a wonderful relationship with my (now adult) kids. I remember some of my Moms boyfriends from when I was young but there was one that stuck around The girlfriend was raped, which lead to isolating herself from her partner, is going to be a single mother of a child that may have been conceived from rape, and is carrying this pregnancy which must have been a very difficult decision for her to make I want my mother to have no power in life, for years she has created drama, destroyed relationships etc etc and now as a grown ass woman I want her to have no power most importantly in my own head. My dad asked me why I was acting this way and why I won’t give her a chance. And it isn't going to end well. My husband would be disgusted with the way I have let myself go and would probably refuse to have sex with me but he’s happily screwing my mother now and enjoying her perfect body. Christmas is soon and I don’t want to ruin it for the family. He should have never ignored Mother’s Day to spite his own mother. I met my wife in my early 20s and she didn’t want kids. I reluctantly pump milk due to my body naturally producing it. But the reality is that most of it is messy and exhausting and not at all idyllic. I have a lovely partner and her daughter in my life. fast forward to now where i'm in a new relationship (28M) who knows he wants kids. I don't have anything against her first husband, I never met him and he seems like a great guy from what I've heard, but I think it's just a little weird to Anecdotally, between my mom, my sisters, blood relative aunts, and non-blood relative aunts, and cousins there have been at least 20+ babies born after age 35 and only one baby was born with a genetic difference (Down syndrome - and my relative was 44 when the baby was born). We were both single and didn't have kids. Also if anything happens to this woman like she dies or is ever deemed unfit the child will have to come live with us. We've been together for 3 years, known each other for 5. I don’t care if she loves me because I don’t consider her or her new replacement family as human beings. And I’m freaking out. she even had her new husband doing it when he was asking me for money. That means, if such a thing occures, man would have to have sex with 2 women in a short timespan. I love holding my baby and cuddle her lots/let her nap on me when I can. We wanted and purposely planned both of our kids and I didn’t feel that way with either of them (my husband did, though). Oh no. Wasn't there also an urban legend about a bullet shooting man thrue the balls (ouch!), and then thrue women's stomac (ouch!) and then conciving a child? (assuming mother, father and fetus didn't fie of, well, gunshoot) I am not The OOP, OOP is u/Positive-You-385. My family is happy and healthy, I was able Maybe if I didn’t want a career more kids would work for us. My (15 F) Mom (32 F) had me when she was 16 and decided she would co-parent with my Bio Dad. So happy that I only had to deal with one baby postpartum too- Nah, this a major SO and MIL problem. I haven’t confronted either of them yet. Everyone was excited, I just gave her a hug and a smile just to be nice. It's my first baby and his second. Oh but also; let’s have my mother watch our son more so we can have time to care for our permanently severely disabled daughter. They generally say after 35 risks to the mother and baby are higher. She has multiple kids from multiple baby daddies. Baby will be feeding every 2 - 3 I help babysit my little half-brother sometimes (he is 3 atm, and I really love him), which has made me think about having children just not with a particular girl. My brother’s baby mama was crazy, and domestic violence made a lot of problems. He had a child who died before he met me. I have nine kids. But at 3 my husband and I were like this is keeping us busy 110% of the time. Have been in this situation, only it was my male partner who changed his mind. Then my mom died and the next couple of years were just blur and when I came out of the blur, we started to have more concrete plans on would it be right time to start trying, what do we need before that (here you have to work at least 9 months in a company to be qualified for paid parental leave) plus I had some health concerns related to my I have always wanted to be a mother more than anything. TLDR: my husband got another woman pregnant when we were on a break and I'm currently pregnant with our 5th. My husband goes on annual vacations with his family. I do want one more though but I’m not eager to jump back into the place we’re at right now with a new baby. This child will end up having a miserable, broken life no matter what happens after it's born. i have his last name. My husband was never plan B. That being said, the in laws have a dog named Little Man, and MIL calls my son Little Guy. Additionally, I will add - are you comfortable having her see your fully exposed breast multiple times per day? It takes practice to get breast feeding working right - in the first 3 weeks - you will more than likely need to have your breast full exposed and try a couple different positions and get a good view - to ensure baby is latching. that sounded fun to me! Your contract is valid in the sense that courts will generally accept it if everyone agrees, however it is not enforceable in the sense that you have no legal rights to terminate her parental rights as the biological mother of the child. If I clearly state to her I don't want children -which I have multiple times- she says thats because I don't have the right partner. OP shared the story with her husband about her childhood best friend and how that situation unfolded. TW mention of SA. Your husband seems childish. So, if you really want a child, make that your priority. Another time, my NMom invited her relatives from overseas to stay with us for a week. Her insurance allowed my dad to get decent care and her income kept us from having to lose our home (family would have stepped up but still!). It's the first thing I told my now husband when I first met him. This is understandable, but my husband and an As there was only one black guy in their village, that guy was no better than dead. IMO, not much happens in life just because. Well wouldnt you know it - look honey! The Lord blessed us! Non monogamy too. And that's cruel. Ignoring the fact that I'd be sacrificing my health (mental and physical) to birth a baby, bringing a child into the world a parent But, to be honest I don’t feel anything towards her new child. He literally yelled at me while we were still in the hospital. She was able to make K take the post down, luckily enough. My husband and I have been married for several years now. I have been so good about not arguing with my husband. ” At first I thought he just wanted to me to have the final say, but I actually think he didn’t want to make a decision. I was in what was the most violent city in CA and lots of guys were in county or prison. Trigger Warning: infidelity; spousal abuse; death in childbirth; religious abuse Mood Spoiler: happy ending Original Post: February 21, 2023. Not the drama. My daughter is a prisoner in her own home. They said they wanted to ask his family first since all family medical history would be easy to obtain. After my first marriage failed, I went on to meet my now husband and have my daughter. Regrettably, we began our relationship whilst I was still married. Her husband said no, you save my wife. He is an officer in the air force and I am currently a nurse at a hospital. if I had a baby then, i wouldn't have had the opportunity to be with the man that I'm with now. I have really enjoyed helping my sister [36F] and her husband with their two young children until the pandemic, and I really wanted a child of my own. This isn’t true for everyone. I have friends that it took a year or two or trying to get pregnant. The only thing she said was to save him. She doesn’t seem to understand this and makes me feel really guilty about not wanting to live with her. Pretty much everything is weird. The poor wife also can’t leave because she knows her MIL will guilt her husband into My parents had possibly one of the strangest agreements regarding marriage and kids: my dad was just getting divorced and didn’t want to lose married man’s tax allowance, he and my mum got on quite well at work, and she wanted a kid but was running out of time to find someone to have one with so they agreed to get married, keeping my dad in his tax bracket and also My husband, Eddy, and I have always believed in having the right to choose. Kelly is going to try and get Opal to be the new mother to her kid, I’m sure. They took the baby 11 weeks early. ” And they weren’t just trying to coerce her into sex that she didn’t want, they were trying to coerce her into unwanted sex AND 9 months of an unwanted pregnancy AND the permanent changes to her body that comes with it. Hosting makes them feel like they have a family and allows them to connect with new young people. I’ve always wanted 3 children but my husband has been on the fence the last year or so. she’s also very special to a lot of people so just genuinely a good person. He was over a few days ago and we talking about spending money on a hobby H and my husband share. Be prepared for lots of sneaky manipulation from Kelly in trying to get Opal to come over and No reply. I eventually caved and got pregnant with her. Idc anymore I’m in a nice routine with my daughter. Hello, I wanted to make this post because I see a train wreck happening in the near future. This is my first marriage and my husband's second. The next day at breakfast she left for work early before I woke up and her husband straight up called me an asshole and other stuff for gifting them that. My point being, I still love the thought of another baby! The whole experience is amazing! And of course we could make another work. She told me that they realized that they couldn’t have kids because of the husband’s disability and that’s why they host people like me. And if you want a husband to raise that child with, make that a priority. My husband and I had a lot of trouble conceiving our daughter we went through several years with no luck and had seen a fertility doctor who had prescribed some medication to help with ovulation. I sent her a letter explaining that I had had enough of her nonsense, I AM keeping my baby, and that I recommend she get some help. You don’t need to know anything. She justs keeps bringing the subject over and over using other people as examples. I really didn't Just a perspective note, my mother had 10 children naturally. What I am trying to bring into my relationships with my daughters: Could meet my emotions without getting flustered or angry. Nevermind that my husband is in better shape than most 20 year olds. She has more than 2. If there is a better group out there for this, please let me know. We still hang out together every weekend and have a blast. There's a right way to approach things and a wrong way. I think if I was wealthy she’d pretend to care about me now (she’s early 20s). I want to have a baby, I want to be pregnant, I am super jealous of any other pregnant women. I'm not the OP. Posted from my TA. A dinner that i could've gotten a few bites of? A simple misunderstanding? They accused me of causing this shitshow and turning my husband on his own mother and disowning her like that. My (25F) younger sister (21F) is pregnant. I was so grateful to have her. it is more a personal preference. 4K comments. It is all my husband’s job. Posting from a throwaway just in case my husband or any of my family and friends reads this. We have a girl [1. I'm pregnant again and I told him if it comes down to it, save me. Original - June 28, 2021. She did her CONCLUDED - as per last update . She is a cycle breaker and has no relationship with her own mother. Whenever there is doubt, the default is no. Given that this is my first relationship since breaking up with my child’s mother, I didn’t want to introduce him to my Onto the issue, my mother recently announced her pregnancy with my step father during his birthday dinner. I (26F) have found out my husband (30M) is having sex with my mother (52F). Oh yeah we have about 5 different bottles in our cupboard, and I'm sure we'll be adding more until we find "the one" lol. I had my baby a week ago. Had my mom not been employed at the time our family would have been screwed. In the past few months, my wife has said she really does want a child. Several months have passed, and she still wants another baby. A lot of women he have dated want him to throw away all her stuff and forget her (it’s in a storage building he never looks at). I don't want to sound that my mom is a bad person, she always wanted best for me and she loves me ( I am her only child). The child deserves to live their own life without the added expectations that naming like that causes. My husband and I have been married for 15 years. My wife is pregnant with a Down Syndrome baby and want to have the baby. I’m a bit of a momma bear. Check flair to determine if you want to read this update. The population in developed countries drops over time because the culture changes as women gain more independence and I (f29) have been with my partner (m32) for 4 years, we have recently discussed having a baby. My husband Here are some potential reasons why one partner doesn't want a baby when the other does. I'm going to change a few details because I'm paranoid but the story is the same. So, my grandpa asked the mom whether she wanted the baby to be registered as dead. And I am so desperately in love with this man who is, and would be, a wonderful father. I have had my ovaries and eggs, checked, and my FSH. We have one child on the spectrum. I tried telling her I'd rather wait a bit longer, since I don't want to have to deal with my anxiety due to the new job + last exam and thesis AND her anxiety about the baby. with him i feel for the first time in my life that i could see myself having kids (i do think i I am finishing my current box of birth control and haven’t bought a new one. my parents were married when i was born, but divorced when i was 4. I asked him to explain why he changed his mind, I explained I was not changing mine, and that even though I loved him and didn’t want to lose him, I would not be the catalyst for resentment because I do not want children. That is u/ThrowawayRunawayToot. Sounds selfish saying that, but I don’t actually care. If she doesn't want to give up the kid, she's the legal mother and your husband can be the legal father. I threw in the towels and get a divorce and stopped complaining. I want more opportunity and chances to be able to do it again, AND I want her in my life for longer. That's what I told my partner who wanted a 2nd when I did not. Original Post - February 22, 2023 . Fast forward 9 years, new relationship: my second, I wanted a boy to have balance and that experience (no regrets, he's awesome). Husbands/partners can't do everything and are exhausted too when a new baby comes - my husband was thrilled to have my mom help. She brought me breakfast, lunch, and dinner in bed and filled up my water bottle whenever I needed it, in addition to taking care of our pets and cleaning the house. Enjoy the kids you have, save for college, and Before I begin this post, I want to say that my wife (31) and I(31M) have been together since we were 17 (married for 6) and yes, at some point in our 20s I was an absolute shithead and I put my wife through the ringer. Go! Love yourself and you will find and live your best life. I made it a couple of years with excuses to try and avoid hurting her feelings- saying I can’t afford it gets me nowhere as she offers to pay, but I managed to have conflicting events/plans or large projects at work that I couldn’t leave. I also know that for the past two years they’ve been trying to bring a baby into their life. I don't want to spend the rest of my life taking care of a mentally retarded person with all the associated medical issues. 2 Updates - Short/Medium Original Post - February 22, 2023 . It makes me uncomfortable when she tried to put my hand on her belly even more now that she wants my name to be her child’s middle name. Desperately wanted another baby because her daughter would be going off to college soon and she'd be stuck alone with this asshole she hated. She has been intentionally harmful towards me and my partner. Therefore, I don't want my sister's to have this baby. My family found out and for the most part agree her behaviour is crazy. But my mother stood by her actions and said my sister was just trying to protect herself from being hurt again. A lot of the desire to have children comes from culture and social grooming. Same age gap as us! I'll be 27 when I give birth and my partner is 43. I said ''I don't love him like I used to'', with ''like I used to'' being the key words. I think sometimes it's that people don't want to be alone with their partner anymore, but also don't want to actually be alone. I hurt her more times than I'd like to admit but I have grown up now and I love my wife. This carried on for about a year, until Jay left for university at 18 and I finally had the courage to come clean and leave my husband. Over time, I started thinking about the strain a child puts on your finances, times, sleep, etc. He was equally shocked that she walked away from him and their son for another man. And then they were asking her to sign over what is technically her firstborn child to the man who assaulted her. And I idealize what that experience would be like. Also, I have a few medical conditions that would make pregnancy and labour very difficult to go through. My husband needs me more than he wants a new baby. But, to My husband recently shared with me that he does not want another child. Also if the MIL has visits she can sue for grandparents rights and force visitation. Sister in law #3 berated me for sharing the text with my husband saying I should've confronted my mother in law alone instead of escalating the situation. His daughter is 16. TRIGGER WARNING: Miscarriage, verbal abuse, emotional abuse, physical violence, Egregious exploitation Thanks to u/Twigz8771 for suggesting this BoRU. Until I get an apology I simply am not speaking to all three of them. Do not comment on the original posts. I’m happy to be the auntie. But my husband and our families also all want to cuddle her and I have been letting them have lots of holds and cuddles with her. Specifically: Women over 35 have an increased risk of pregnancy complications including ectopic pregnancy, miscarriage, fetal chromosomal abnormalities, congenital anomalies, placenta previa, stillbirth, multiple birth, and cesarean section as well as coexisting medical disorders such as hypertension and diabetes. I (22f) have been with my partner (29m) for coming up on 3 years, and our daughter is 4 months old. 29K votes, 5. Fear of Responsibility: The ambivalent partner may be questioning their ability to She revealed all in a post on Reddit's Relationship Advice forum, after her husband started discussing expanding their family. My husband I have been married for two years now and together for five. I barely let even my husband hold my son. I got too close to another man without any intention of actually doing what I did. I would do nothing I did then differently. My best friend and I were old enough to understand and I remember her trying to console me and she felt very sorry for me. She’s a lodestar in my life. I personally wouldn't have wanted kids earlier because I never had a partner I wanted to have kids with until I met my now husband. Nobody in our life has issues with our age gap, but man is Reddit a different story lol. 8K comments. She’s still young so she still is fertile however both of her past pregnancies were complicated and very dangerous. She is used to over stepping people’s boundaries and manipulating everyone around her. The doctor advised me to press charges against my ex husband. We have 2 children and I really want a third but by the time we would have it I would be 40, if not older. I told her if she had just been honest with me from the start, I wouldn't have been as bothered. See I know the title That's when she started crying and told me everything, she had an affair with another man that's not my dad, she started her affair in 2018, got knocked up in 2019 and gave birth early 2020. Not really considering I would be leaving my poor husband to care for a newborn. My first, I wanted a daughter because I thought she would likely be my only and I wanted to have a close (read, millennial gilmore girls fantasy type) mother daughter relationship. "story" I guess, I was straight out of college, 22 years old, when I met my now husband (who was 28) He had money, bought me nice things, treated me like a "queen" so it was only expected when we got married the same year, when I was 23 we had our first kid, Kaylee. There are some red flags that I look out for. Hi everyone I keep reading about Mums who spend all day holding their baby and contact napping etc. Her mother was revered in her family. 244 votes, 122 comments. My SO used to say things like, “whatever you want, my dear. The baby they had together? They both abandoned that child. The only thing she doesn't want to live separately and I don't know how to tell her that we don't want to live with her. Six months later, my husband’s cousin and his wife approached him and asked if he would consider donating to them, his cousin is sterile (childhood accident) and they wanted to have a baby. Finally decided to pull the trigger at 35, and am now the mother of an amazing 4 month old baby girl. She has changed me completely and I really do believe I’m a better, happier and more fulfilled person. I asked him to choose baby over me. I don't want my sister's baby because she, herself, was irresponsible while having sex. 5F] and I recently found out I am pregnant again. But from a woman’s point of view, having a baby can stimulate this need to have another baby. It's been a family tragedy. 1st Update - February ?, 2023 . So I called my mother and told her what happened. I turned down high paying careers in exchange for ones with more flexible hours and forgiving policies to allow me to focus on motherhood. Please read our sub rules before commenting or your comment may be removed. I’ll never change I’m a young mom at 24 years old and I didn’t know anything before having my son. Thank you to u/Direct-Caterpillar77 and u/Bluephoenix2121 for the recommendation. i (31F) have always sworn since i was little that i didn't want kids. Amen to grocery shopping without a newborn feeling like a vacation! I did that at about 6 weeks postpartum with my husband, leaving baby with my mom, and it felt so great! OP, I think the MOST helpful thing you can do is give mom a few child free hours each day. at 24 i fell into a 7-year relationship with an older man who didn't want more kids (or marriage) so i knew that we were on the same page. I don’t understand why. The pregnancy process was fine and the labor was fine. She keeps trying to involve me in her pregnancy and I’m tired of keeping the “excited older sister to be” facade. ((I've retyped this a few times and deleted it, sorry for any confusion))2 years ago my wife gave birth to our baby boy, His mother had him late in life she is currently 68 and has been showing signs of dementia for the last two years, and she was recently officially diagnosed. To start off my. Nowadays, i want to advance my education beyond what I thought was capable. What really did it for me and my husband was feeling like we were ready for the next big adventure. Why? She walked away from her first husband and set of children without a second glance. So don’t listen to her and feel any doubt and don’t feel bad for not sharing the baby. She would have to be exactly what I'm looking for before I consider her as a mother to my offspring. My 45 F husband 48M and I have been together for 25 years, we have three kids F8, M15, and F17. He needs me more than he needs a sibling. I've had doctors (who I no longer see) tell me that I needed to hurry up and get pregnant before my husband is in a wheelchair. He’d roll out and she’d bitch and complain. So her doctor told her to absolutely not get pregnant as it will just be even more risky now that she’s older. "My baby/child/he/she is I don’t want to have to worry about changes to my body that will last a lifetime. Alice and her husband Ben has fostered 5 children and have adopted 2 children with autism, and are great parents. Common enough that "Relationship broken, add more people" is a phrase used in polyamory circles to describe it, but it applies just as easily to people who have the "fix my marriage" baby. But she doesn’t remember being pregnant with him, at all. It’s weird trying to mother my own kids past the time when I had a mother myself. Had my 1st at 33 and 2nd at 36. I'm on okay terms with them but since we've only been married for a short time and I don't see his family much, we still have that barrier that keeps is from being This morning I got up before them and left for school and now I’m walking home. I told him that she’s young enough to be my sister and I don’t want anything to do with the person he was cheating on my mother with nor do I want anything to do with the baby he had on my mother while she was battling cancer. In all honestly, when was this? My mother is still legally married to my father but they have been separated literally my entire life. Wanted them, didn't. Posted by u/Satanfister0218 on r/entitledparents. Not just the daughter; the son would also suffer. What will our families think, what will our kids think? Also before anyone asks this is my husbands baby I'm carrying. I do not want more kids. She was really depressed that she couldnt get pregnant again. I wanted to be a young mother with lots of kids, and planned my whole life around it. It's mildly annoying, but some things aren't worth arguing over, imo. true. We can afford another child. Most submissions in this sub are not posted by the original author (OOP). Your turn!” 🤣 100% this. Sticking her with all the medical bills when she also has to go through the abortion process (hint, not comfortable) is definitely not owning up to the responsibility of having sex with someone. Then a year later they’d be like teenagers. You want to have a kid, great, but you can't MAKE a woman carry your baby and then expect her to want to have them in the future. My wife when she became pregnant her mother had passed around 5 months before. I want to experience something as awesome as creating a life with my husband and have a household with miniature What should have been a care free time driving around in my shitty car and trying to get laid turned into becoming a father figure for these kids. Ftm, and I always wanted a girl! I imagined it would be easier to empathize and fun to shop for her as a baby, explain puberty in a better way than it was explained to me so they’re better prepared, shop for cute clothes in tweenhood, prom dresses, hair cuts and make up if they choose, dealing with dating trouble, being close like friends when they’re adults, etc. I don't want her to carry it to term. I don’t know why I’m posting other than to just vent a little and know that im not crazy for being extremely upset by these comments. Turn out to be the most lovable, caring, charming, intelligent, funny little boy with such a big empathy for everybody. . Or the implications that pregnancy can cause. for me, my mother is my only parent. Nmom would say, "a real son would" Followed by whatever it was she wanted at the time: 1) give her the money without asking; 2) sign the loan document; 3) let her keep whatever it was she wanted. That divorce was the best thing that ever happened to me because it allowed me to have the life I have now. I wanted to Seeing that made me hate her more than you can believe. We have been together since we were very young (he was 19 and I was 18) and these years I always expressed my desire of starting a family but every time I got older I forgot about it. We had them for three years before the nephews father stopped being a piece of shit and I don't want someone over at my place 4+ days a week at the beginning of the relationship. The attempt at recovery doesn’t undo the attack you experienced. Thank you for your reply. But man, sometimes I want to have a baby with this man. I want her to terminate. My dad was young and healthy when he was permanently and severely disabled in an accident. My ex husband cheated on me. She has two grown children, both nearing 30. She was in a lot of pain and had to have a hysterectomy. Maybe on the weekend, urge her to go for a mani/pedi or book a massage. Christ, birth could kill me! I want to live my life, making my own choices, and I want to put myself first. Im told it gets better as they get older. I would love to put an end to their happy little relationship. my life would have been beyond different. I only had one sibling so 2 is a comfortable number. As a result I also probably have to go low contact with my Honestly I have been looking for properties now with bigger land and have offered my mother the option that she can build a granny flat and she can live in there, which will still give me some of my privacy that I want in my life. My daughter is movie-star beautiful, but men who have professed their love for her and had wanted to marry HER, but NOT the disabled daughter. If you want something, you have to consciously choose to pursue that goal. I told her I wanted an apology for her schemes. We both decided we did not want to have kids. I'm thankful no one other than me and my husband have used the "my baby" phrase. Her husbands response was: “we won’t do that. But at night when she was in her room I heard her crying really loudly. My mother thinks that having bleach in her house will kill herbut honestly, I am almost 100% sure she removed the cleaning chemicals in the house when I lived I am NOT the Original Poster. Sadly, my husband doesn't care much for the name for a child, so it won't be Henry Otto, but I would do that if he had been cool with it. I never wanted her but my husband did. I explained the situation. She provided me with all the necessities and I was never in need of anything. So, I have a male dog (first born) named Otto. I’ve seen posts about “I don’t want children but my mother says I’m taking away her right to be a grandmother” and blah blah blah. And it’s all very good for my age. More money and/or a supportive extended family network will make your life practically a lot easier to deal with while having small children. Now i say: “I chose last time. She’s trying to protect her children. It's not too late. The indecision is based on 2 things, we’re tired as it is and we’re on the older side. The action to be judged is not allowing my mom and her new husband to stay in my home and get a hotel instead for their visit 2. I took her to the hospital and they found signs of neglect. Original Post Sept 10, 2023. But you have to take all things into consideration. That’s her most important priority as a mother. I don’t feed her, change her or even hold her. My family isn’t huge, but I’m the oldest of 5 kids, which would have been 7 kids if she hadn’t had 2 miscarriages after her youngest was born. He yelled because I took a picture of our baby in the hat my sister made him. I'm 59 and have never wanted children, nor has my sister nor many women I've known. Precisely because it’s been so lovely and positive and she has been. K has called me petty for calling my mum and has continued to demand I give up my baby. kids. She was a single mom until I was 2. Decision fatigue is so real. Online he’s saying how I ruined his youth by trapping him with a baby. My life this side of having a daughter is better than I ever imagined it would be. My mom and this boyfriend had a child 10 years ago. Which we definitely have. My mom and aunt were there for my first, my husband and mother in law for my second and fourth and just my husband for my third because there was a tornado that prevented my mother in law from getting to the hospital on time and my daughter came early instead of me being induced like I was with my boys. I’m marrying my best friend in 29 days. She told me she "hated me because I made he become mom the cop when she wanted to be my friend" "You sprained your ankle, but I broke mine" - My mother is a medical covert narc. He has basically become okay-ish with being single. Help keep the sub engaging! Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! Click Here For Our Rules and Click Here For Our FAQ For OP: So many people will say that the second you hold your new baby this magical thing happens and it’s so amazing and so on. My new partner and I are both very ambitious and we want to wait until much later and it's a better financial decision. It's crazy how badly people want to victimize the younger woman no matter I’ve never been a SAHM and I have a lot of interests- I want to pursue them in retirement, including travel with my husband. AITA for yelling at my pregnant sister n law and telling my husband to choose me or her. My cousin had a stroke and was bleeding from her eyes. I live alone now, but I have never enjoyed living alone, and I would like to have someone to do activities with and share my life with. I would be quick to correct it. We are in a very strong financial position, money is not an issue. My mom has dated since then and had even fallen in love with another man. My autistic granddaughter cannot self-entertain and is a velcro-person so is always there. I refused to hold her after delivery and have never breastfed her. The strong attachment and love towards someone literally attached to me, the excitement of seeing my new baby, the unconditional love and cuddles, the cuteness. In my defence, I asked my husband (before we started trying) what would happen if we didn’t end up pregnant, he basically said “oh well, it wouldn’t have been meant to be I think it was very clear and loud to me how this man would have treated me for the rest of my life. I honestly don’t know how to react. I want her to be happy, so I Hello reddit, I am a 38 year old woman. She took my dad back to court for a higher child support amount and the judge asked that I be asked which parent I wanted to live with (lived with her at the time, hated her new partner) I said well if you're going to marry bf then I want to live with dad. My grandpa knew that other couple from another village who was struggling to get a baby, so he made the papers and boom, the case was solved "old-school" This is a great test. The Original Op (OOP) posted the originalon 3/25. I can’t look at baby stuff because I want to buy it all right now. For the last few weeks she has been demanding that my SO (27M) and I babysit her new born every weekend, friday morning-sunday evening, so she and her SO (21M) can have some cool off time from being parents, to not over stress. If I dare to say to her anything she interpret this as me being jealous of others having babies. Since a few months in to our relationship his mother has had a constant negative presence. When my daughter turned 17 and stopped speaking to me I regretted putting her first her entire life. It was blatantly clear who mattered most. So I kinda eavesdropped a little and heard her saying stuff about that book and me and her husband trying to calm her. I am terribly sorry you’re confronted by this but she assaulted you, already fawning over her future “grandson”, she let rage fuel an attack on you and your baby. After our second year of trying I begged my husband to go with me to get a checkup to see if either of us or both of us is infertile. 8K votes, 7. I was in the wedding so my fiancé was stuck next to them for the ceremony, he said they made out the whole time and whenever they weren’t, my mom was complaining. Our children are 5 and under so a third would be close in age. She refused so I gave her the same conditions I gave my sister and BIL. She also exclusively refers to my baby as “her grand baby” which also rubs me the wrong way big time. Her dad wanted to abort her and I made her entire life possible. I desperately want to have a baby, but the thought of it is terrifying for me. However, Kelly insisted that she wanted to keep the baby and not give it up for adoption. We’ve been together for 6 It terrified her. My ex-husband would not help. At this point all I want to do is have my baby. Originally posted to r/AITAH. What could have been a free vacation stay would have cost them a few hundred dollars. 7. you’ve helped me understand my mother better. The summary of the situation is that my mother wants me to prioritize her over my girlfriend and I want to split the time equally, but she doesn't agree and wants me to break up with my girlfriend so that I can spend more time with her. I started my period at 15. He is the love of my life! Right now im pregnant with my second baby and even if i wanted a girl in the first place, i want another baby boy like my first son! OP has a n@sty way of presenting things, and, if the way she describes her mother in law, husbands dog, dogs in general, animals, dog owners and even her husband, are synonymous to the way she sees life, then goddarn, that’s a real sh!tty way to be and I have pity for husband. I don't know what else to do at this point since we In August of last year I met my current partner (who I am still with now). If you think this submission doesn't belong on the sub, is incorrectly flaired or have other issues regarding this post, reply My mother and her new husband want to have a baby. She said yes. A lot of people were telling her to name her after her mother. My MIL does not have much to her name, and both my husband and I do very well for ourselves, my husband wishes to have his mother move in with us, and I am against it. It’s funny though, of us 5 kids, I had 2 children, my sister is pregnant with her second, and my other sister had 1. Her last child she had it 44. Saddle up boys, it's a long one so didn't include comments. dqkcbzrqwcsqlqzxdqltlotfkyrwvmxvfwdktgofmqsh