Do you talk about marriage before proposing reddit. Aug 23, 2025 · Should you ask for permission before proposal planning? Read this practical guide to learn the pros and cons, and how to get it done right. I absolutely will do so cause thankfully we have a very good relationship when it comes to things like that. Then you have people like my brother who invited 100+ people over as a surprise party to celebrate that he was going to propose to his now-wife. We've put together 26 signs to help you determine when you should propose. What to do, what not to do. r/AskReddit is the place to ask and answer thought-provoking questions. Plus, we share a list of modern-day alternatives if this tradition isn't for you. should all be talked about thoroughly in advance. I just mean that if the marriage has already been agreed upon by discussion before proposing, I don't understand on what basis it is actually a proposal if the decision has already been thought out together? Hasn't the person who first brings up in the conversation that they want to get married proposed? The only thing that you need to do before proposing regardless of your gender is to have discussed marriage with your partner before and do it in private. I can truly be myself around her, and she can do the same with me. Jun 14, 2023 · Here are a few questions I think couples should answer together before proposing. If you are talking about buying a house I don't think it's unreasonable to discuss where the two of you see marriage fitting into the the timeline. As long as you've talked about it and are on the same page, you should totally propose to your boyfriend, timelines and standards be damned! Congrats and I hope you have an awesome time in Greece! People who dont talk about marriage before proposing are setting the relationship up for disaster in my opinion A lot of you have suggested being the one to propose myself. Make up hypotheticals, think of future children's names, work situations, living situations. Here's everything you need to know to craft the perfect proposal speech. A soft-on-criminal-illegal-aliens prosecutor and sheriff in Fairfax County, Virginia have been asked to appear before a House Judiciary subcommittee to testify about how their practices and policies are harming public safety, after an illegal alien with a lengthy criminal history who had been repeatedly released was charged with stabbing to 5. We’ve only been dating for ~2. Another 15% recommend dating for 18 to 24 months, while 15% believe that two to three years is the ideal amount of time. This will assure you that #1 there is nearly 100% chance that the other will say yes and #2, you will be sure it's a genuine response since she or he does not have the pressure to answer in Men who have proposed before or are considering proposing, how did you do it? And what changed in the relationship that made you decide to propose? You could do what I do when strangers ask questions I don't want to answer: lie through my f*ing teeth. You can talk about marriage without asking for marriage. With this, even before popping the big question, it is good if couples are already open to talking about marriage. Maybe he was just doing the thing he thought he should do after you’ve been with someone for a long time, but he did eventually propose. Open communication is one of the secrets of a successful relationship. The topic of marriage should be thoroughly discussed well before you propose. And honestly - we have an amazing marriage. The event itself can be a surprise. " Jul 10, 2023 · Keeping the Surprise Just because you’ve talked about marriage with your partner, it doesn’t mean that the proposal can’t be a surprise. Not her parents, your parents, friends or otherwise. If you are a woman who wants to propose and your prospective spouse has issues with that then I think it's more of a personal relationship issue. Why do you want to get married? Nov 26, 2025 · Pre-marriage conversations are more important than you think. However, you probably haven’t talked about everything that you should understand about each other before you get married. My partner has done her best but she's never been through it and wants it to be a surprise. You can be ‘surprising’ with the official proposal but the ideas of marriage, kids, money, life goals etc. But the proposal is special and makes all those things come to life and set in motion. He seems old school even without her saying it. 46M subscribers in the AskReddit community. Agreeing to marriage and being on the same page before proposing just makes sense when you think about the social situation you put a woman in when you propose. There’s no one-size-fits-all answer to the question, “How soon is too soon to propose?” Some couples may feel ready to take this significant step after a few months of dating, while others may prefer to wait Based on experience, what important things should couples talk about before getting married? If you want to include the family, why not have your boyfriend talk about setting up some fun way to include them into the proposal instead of actually asking for "permission?" Mar 14, 2026 · Dating experience - What To Say When Proposing: Tips And Ideas Use our proposal speech tips as guides to get your creative juices flowing. Sep 1, 2020 · Figuring out the right time to pop the question isn't always straightforward. But your dynamic should not change. I have picked a good spot for this weekend that I think she will love and I already have the ring and the blessing from her father. Plus, we address what you should do if you're not ready to propose and what to do if you rushed into getting engaged prematurely. But in general she is not her dad , and there is an element of “well he will see it his own way” and they are both just kind of like that. She is pregnant and we are trying to announce engagement before she starts showing (which will be in a few weeks). How does Reddit feel about asking the parents permission before proposing? My friend and I got into a debate about this last night. is America’s largest digital and print publisher. LPT: a marriage proposal should NOT come as a big surprise, despite what you may have seen in the movies. You'll get the legal benefits and outsiders will treat your relationship status with more respect/give it more weight. Below, we've created a step-by-step guide for how to propose to your partner, complete with must-know tips on how to nail the moment with confidence. How long after being with someone do you expect them propose, or would you plan to propose? If you could post your age as well. Dec 30, 2025 · Thinking about proposing? Forget the antiquated advice. The purpose of this article isn’t to scare you out of marriage or question how well you know each other. It is an exciting but intimidating topic to talk about, especially before the engagement. But if you're not sure where to start, don't stress. Long time lurker, first time poster, blah blah blah. is a big step. Ideally the couple has already talked about marriage and is on the same page about it, before the proposal happens. One question that has come up and I cannot readily answer is if I should ask her parents for their blessing/permission to propose. Maybe talk to your girlfriend about a dinner with her family afterwards to celebrate the proposal. Jan 5, 2024 · The timing of a marriage proposal is a deeply personal matter, influenced by various factors, including the individuals involved, their relationship dynamics, and their future goals. Here are steps for everyone on how to propose and where to propose in Connecticut. Of course you talk about getting married in the abstract or as a potential thing. I do expect to ask him. Jan 2, 2019 · “You need to understand who you are and what your life goals are—and be selfish because you only have one life!” Here are the questions to ask yourself before proposing, according to relationship experts. Have multiple conversations about marriage before you propose. She has been in a few longer term relationships before me but this is the first long term relationship I’ve been in. I think she is the one but at the same time it feels so soon and we have hardly talked about it. Create an open dialogue Contrary to what some may believe, your significant other can’t read your mind. Discover the essential points for couples before tying the knot, ensuring a strong foundation. Parent usually appreciate having the talk before the proposal and I think it's a very sweet gesture. You don't want those vibes getting in your brain before the proposal. I wouldn't mind the general idea, but I would've liked to have discussed marriage before either of us popped the question anyway. Which is fine. Which is probably an extreme example but it goes to show how proposal is just a symbolic little thing at a surprise moment. That way, you’re fairly confident the other person will say yes. Although there are more people currently saying not to I took everything into consideration and went with what I felt best in the moment. I understand your point. 57 votes, 214 comments. However, I’m not sure what proposing to someone who is not ready to be engaged would accomplish. The talk about marriage doesn't ta The proposal is a surprise, wanting to get married shouldn't be. Chances are one of you reading this is in a relationship that’s on the marriage track. Inevitably, the idea of proposing has crossed my mind, and I am currently in the exploratory stage of thinking about all the implications of such a proposal before making the commitment. I told my family who have promised not to tell a soul. I do have an underlying anxiety disorder, but my anxiety spikes every time we make a decision about a big life event (deciding we are going to have kids after being on the fence, buying a house), and Feb 14, 2025 · To help get you through this dating conundrum, we've asked three trusted dating coaches for their top tips on how long you should date before marriage. If you don't know that the answer is going to be 100% yes, you haven't talked about your lives and future enough and shouldn't be shopping for rings let alone popping the question. It is important to discuss and be open about the direction of the relationship. Have a real discussion about your future together, the big items that affect a marriage (finances, family, kids, careers, etc) and decide if you are BOTH ready to get married to each other. Aug 18, 2023 · Are you ready for your partner to propose? Before anyone pops the question, here's everything you need to know for a talk about marriage with your partner. I waited a few weeks to be able to do it in person, rather than over the phone. Edit: title should obvs read "asking for their parents' permission" 🤦🏼‍♀️ Talking to my parents over Christmas, my dad recalled… Oct 31, 2025 · Before you propose to your partner, follow this step-by-step proposal checklist to make sure you’re as prepared as possible to pop the question. As another comment said, proposal is a surprise, but the engagement is not. I just wounding if anyone has asked their own parents blessing before proposing? Long story short is that I (male) usual run big life decisions past my mother for advice (my father passed away). Local news, sports, business, politics, entertainment, travel, restaurants and opinion for Seattle and the Pacific Northwest. If you believe they are the one, and time and finicances are secure. Marriage wasn't particularly important to me, but our relationship eventually reached the point where clearly I needed to either propose or breakup, and I sure as hell didn't want us to breakup over signing some paperwork and throwing a party. You should absolutely have these conversations first. So: As a surprise proposal, I'd feel cornered. Proposers, did you plan out your speech? I'm proposing in a month, everything is ready, but I'm not sure if I should write down a speech to know what to say or wait for whatever comes out in that moment. I still think it's a nice tradition, but only if they ask both the mother and father (if possible). I'd hate to break her heart and really can't stand to see her cry, and I want her to be happy but, I just don't know if I'm ready to settle down. My friend thinks it's an antiquated tradition. Doesn't mean it'll change your decision but it's a perfectly acceptable thing to ask. Nov 3, 2025 · Make sure both you and your partner have discussed marriage and future goals before planning the proposal. The when and where of the proposal can/should be a surprise, but the fact that you’re going to propose at some point shouldn’t be. One, even if I am somewhat ashamed to admit it, I do want that fairytale moment of being on the receiving end of a proposal. I am floored at how many people propose without actually having discussed marriage and are sure that they’re both on the same page. Hell, my sister and her fiance even had their venue reserved and a wedding date set before he actually proposed and the engagement became official. So, what are some questions I should be asking myself before I take this next, big step? That being said, most women desire a proposal, our daughter was over the moon when he SO proposed to her. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. Jan 7, 2026 · If you’re thinking about proposing to your girlfriend, the two of you have probably had many conversations. Proposals look different for every couple, which means it's up to you to decide how to properly propose. I do not think you need to sit down and answer all of these questions in one sitting! Proposal should be a reflection of the relationship you have with your SO and the fact that you want to marry each other should be discussed before hand. Jan 9, 2017 · Clearly there are discussions about marriage occurring before the actual proposal, but getting the conversation started can be tricky. Married men of reddit, why did you propose and how is your marriage now? Would you do it all again? Archived post. Nov 19, 2025 · Getting ready to pop the question? We put together a simple guide on what to say when proposing to your future spouse. As something we've talked about before and she took it upon herself to get engaged with me, I'd feel loved. What are some things my partner and I should talk about before getting married? We love each other a lot and I think we’re a perfect fit. If you do not yet view the two of you as kin, I'd say put off the engagement. There’s way too much assumption in the world that if you’re getting married you’re in total bliss. ” Even if you know you two want to get married someday, officially opening up the conversation is a great way to make sure your timelines and expectations for engagement and marriage align. Women of Reddit : I'm about to propose to my girlfriend of 6 years, what are the Do's and Dont's of proposing? We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. As another poster pointed out, they're probably just making conversation, & it's something many brides love to talk about so it's an easy convo starter for a wedding vendor. I have random and baseless doubts in my relationship, doubts in what we’ve planned or that we should have a wedding at all, in the idea of marriage, and what it comes down to to me is fear. According to The Knot 2024 Relationship and Intimacy Study, 47 percent of folks in a serious relationship agreed, having reported discussing marriage prior and even going engagement ring shopping together. Engaged/Married Redditors, Did you discuss marriage before proposing/being proposed to? Why or why not? Archived post. Can we talk about engagement? I’m wondering what timeline feels right to you, and I’d like you to know that I feel ready to take that step. I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/ThrowRAproposing Originally posted to r/relationship_advice My (25F) best friend (24M) proposed to… People Inc. What exactly should you be talking about You should agree on the major things like if you do or don't want kids, roughly when, where you want to live, how you should handle money, and, most importantly, be able to talk through and solve disagreements. Jul 13, 2023 · But how do you wrap up all of your feelings and vocalize them to the love of your life? We've outlined exactly what to say when you propose, along with ways that you can personalize your proposal script so that it's a sweet reflection of your relationship so far. We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. Anyway, we have been together for 2. Choose a meaningful location for the proposal that has personal significance, like where Give me all your proposal tips. No one needs permission from anyone to propose but it's fine to want to know if the family you're marrying into approves or doesn't approve of you. I mean, you can totally get down on one knee when you're like 20 years into your marriage and ask for vow renewals or something, but it just won't be the same, right? We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. Dec 17, 2021 · How to make sure you get it right, without losing too much sleep over popping the question to your one true love. An engagement or marriage should not really change the day to day nature of your guys relationship. O. Our expert shares everything you need to do to Personally, I think people should have a conversation about getting married before the actual proposal. Reply reply Pretend Getting down on one knee while proposing is probably one of the most romantic things you can do for her and this is your only chance. Like, is the other person into the concept of marriage at all? Can they imagine an indefinite relationship with you? Do they have specific ideas of what a marriage should look like and how it differs from a long term committed relationship? What do they think of your family? If you're questioning things to talk about before getting engaged, the topic is marriage is high on the list. I genuinely thought that couples first discuss it together then one of the partners propose to the other one to give a ring for a kind gesture. It's a sign of respect. Learn about career opportunities, leadership, and advertising solutions across our trusted brands My opinion is to make sure your girlfriend is okay with whatever you decide, then do your best to maintain a good relationship with her family through holidays and other events. To increase the chances of success, it's important to follow research-based "rules of engagement. 5K votes, 701 comments. If you are ready to get married to your partner, speak frankly and honestly with them about it BEFORE you start planning a proposal. Oct 2, 2025 · Here's the good news: There's no right way to get engaged. What do you think? Aug 2, 2021 · Proposing marriage requires a leap of faith. Either say yes right now or risk the relationship. Apr 1, 2022 · Marriage – the mere mention of the word can send shivers down the spine. That way you know you're both on board and she/he will say yes! I definitely still want to be proposed to, but I definitely want to have the marriage conversation before that happens. Maybe they think it’s less romantic that way, or takes away some of the grand gesture of proposing? Jan 19, 2026 · If you're worried you won't come up with the right words when you're ready to pop the question, we have ideas to help you figure out what to say when proposing to your partner. Reply reply [deleted] • Mention to them that you have discussed marriage with their daughter and that you're on the same page. How should I do this and how should I specifically not do this? Jan 15, 2024 · Did this help? When it comes to a marriage proposal, adhering to certain etiquette rules can make the experience more memorable and respectful for everyone involved. Understanding the dos and don’ts, such as how long before the proposal you should ask the father for permission, can add a traditional touch to the occasion. We’ve been talking about marriage for probably a year at this point but with no concrete timeline. May 27, 2023 · How long should you date someone before making a proposal? Twenty percent of respondents believe that a couple should typically date for 12 to 18 months before getting engaged. To help you think through the decision and timing, we spoke with marriage therapists to get their insights into how soon is too soon to propose, how to know when you're ready to get engaged, and more. Under a public proposal video, there was a comment saying the woman didn't have a choice of saying no because she was under pressure being surrounded by the crowd. I would think they had already had some sort of talk about marriage and he knew she would say yes before he even asked, like a normal relationship. If a boyfriend says to a girlfriend in normal conversation that he intends to marry her (or vice versa), does that suddenly become their "proposal" story? LPT: if you’re going to propose to your SO, you should already know the answer, meaning, you’ve talked about marriage and kids before proposing. We leave the fun part of capturing your loved one's heart to you! But when we first started talking about marriage, while I was thrilled, I also started having panic attacks for the first time in my life. 5 years, and I love her very much. . If I agreed to propose this year to make her happy, then I'm doing it just for her, and not for myself, which doesn't seem like it will last. No one should ever be pressured into making a life impacting decision. Jul 22, 2022 · It's important to consider what a proposal really means and whether your relationship is really ready to take that step. If you propose to your girl, do it because it is something you, and you alone want to do. 75 years but she really wants me to propose. Should I tell my family before I propose ? Hey everyone thank you so much for all the engagement, ideas and kind words. Nov 19, 2025 · How to Have the 'I'm Ready to Get Engaged' Conversation Deciding to start talking about marriage with your S. Instead of wondering if you’re going to propose, you partner will be wondering when you’re going to propose. If you’re thinking of proposing at a restaurant, DO IT BEFORE THE MEAL! A few reasons: -This is one meal you will actually never forget. Then, follow our wedding Should I (22m) ask her father before I propose to get engaged? So I've been with my girlfriend for a very long time, can't give the specific time since she browses this subreddit. Before proposing, do most people still ask their partner's father for permission? Interested to see stories from couples who didn’t have the formal proposal but still had an engagement period before the wedding! What did those conversations look like as a couple? How did you announce to family? Did you purchase engagement rings or forgo them all together? Even non traditional or mutual engagements, what did planning look like? Nov 18, 2025 · Here, we put together an easy-to-follow guide on how to ask your partner's father and/or mother for permission to wed. What are your thoughts about discussing marriage (expressing your intention to marry) before "formally" proposing? Looking for some opinions. Mar 11, 2024 · Do you talk about marriage before a proposal? Discussing important topics before getting engaged is the best way to see if you and your partner are a good match. myvw fmttuzjk iqo uhpaz eppyi muctkgv qowhiq xrqpkbzzo crrjqlej dzub